I have been thinking about what makes success again. I have run into some men lately that seem to have it made; first there is Justin whose list is so extensive it drives me mental. First of all he is financially established after working on tug-boats in the Vancouver harbor for years which left him with oodles of money, he is one of the most established 'outdoorsman' in town and is revered as the most experienced mountaineer, skier, backcountryer, and horticulture expert. He did a 2 week trip along one of the mountain ranges around here about a month ago and took may pictures of it which he preceded to do a slideshow presentation with at the local coffee shop which was packed that night. He is dating a beautiful girl who co-owns a quaint little tea-shop here in town. Not to mention he has a beautiful large house and is an amazing guitar player. I have yet to find out if he speaks any languages but I wouldn't be suprised if he is fluent in at least a couple.
Now I realize the danger of putting myslef up against someone like this but one can't resist this obvious chance to be depressed!! I work in a diner where I flip burgers and empty grease-traps, only to be able to just afford my apartment and just skim by as far as eating and a little extra money. I haven't really got many credentials to my name except for maybe reading lots of novels which when it comes down to it doesn't really do anything for me or at least anything I am using right now. I have seemed to fail in most relationships I enter into and even often drive them to cease to even have anything to do with me. I come up 'lacking' in so many ways but for some odd reason as I was sitting on the edge of my bed last night, looking at my naked reflection, I couldn't help but feel that I didn't really care. There are so many minions that walk through this life doorway without making the tiniest indent on the frame. They just blow through uneffectedly and I couldn't really figure out why I shouldn't be one of those. So what if I just blow through life without making any significant tracks or effect any change- what diference wil it really make. Sure fun is going to be had but even then it is not required, just a preference. So I suppose I will let Justin be Justin and maybe I will start spending my days watching T.V.
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no whining your existence chubi. I deny you the ability. You are too metacognizant to stoop to that. Perhaps i am denying reality. I am okay with that.
ReplyDeleteI just spent a day watching TV. It was maybe the worst experience (or lack thereof) of my life. I hope you haven't actually followed through on this threat...I shall read on to find out! ;D
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