Lethargy

Sure many characteristics have come and gone over the years for me- sometimes I feel like I can't stand to be around people and hole myself up and other times I love 'em and spread myself thin. Even though I get these "swings" one thing does remain constant- lethargy. I am a lazy bastard. I can spend a whole evening just sitting there quite honestly doing shit. I can put the simplest task off for weeks simply because I don't feel up to it. This lack of self-motivation and willingness to push myself has always been there. I don't get anything accomplished in my life and haven't learned how to grab the bull by its horns. If we are going to get down to facts the first thing is simply that I shouldn't be living here anymore. I should be in some forest somewhere, but because I lack the gumption to get up and shit with my life I am still existing where I wish I wasn't. I have had the wish to write something for the longest time now but all I have around me i piles of incoherent scraps- nothing concrete- no masterpiece- not even a close to accurate portrayal of what I feel. I would like to blame it on my diet or the busyness with work etc, but too much time has passed for these to be valid excuses anymore. The plethora and ample amount of time I have had reveal me to be a lazy ass who can't achieve what scant goals he has. Maybe someday I will learn what it is to grab life by he balls and say cough. Until that day I think I will go play x-box. -Nat