exhausted

I ran into a couple of hitchers today- heading out to the Okanagen- going to pick that fruit. I am soon to join their leagues. Last night I went to Regina had lots of sushi, played some pool and watched a movie. A good evening- things I am going to miss. Who knows and that is the troubling part- the uncertainty of the future. I suppose I could have never been certain before about the future because well...its the future. It still seems even more acute now, even though I can rely on many things like sun, trees, breathing, thought etc... It still seems like I am forbidding all recognizable things for the unrecognizable. It would be as if for some reason I was flipped upside down and my feet was in the air and my head was what I hopped on to get around. Sure things would be different and I would have no way of gaging things but when it comes down to it they would be the same things. I would still be living in he same world just upside down- so this is the way the world will appear to me soon. Only 3 more days until I "head out" and I can't wait because it scares me -Nat